The Latest Round and a 2-Year Check-Up

Losing my Mind

Losing my Mind

So, the sleeping saga with Bella continues. Monday morning she was up at 4:45. I was displeased to say the least. Later that afternoon we were going for her 2-year check-up, and I had been hoping to be somewhat well-rested. Oh well.

Bella was a cranky, fussy mess all morning. All we did was butt heads about everything. She went down for her nap around 11am and was up on her own in time to leave for her 2:30 appointment.

Good news – Bella is very healthy. And big. The doctor said she is the size of a 3-year old (30 pounds 3 ounces and 36 inches tall). She was less of a disaster for the appointment (screaming wise), but was obsessed with reaching up on the desk to try to grab the doctor’s tablet.

Bad news – we were Ferbering wrong. Apparently we should have only been going in for 10-15 seconds and just reassuring her that we were there. Then she asked when Bella went to bed and when she got up. Then she said something that put fear in me “It may be that’s all the sleep she needs at night”. She said if that was the case, we should probably take the 4th side of the crib back off, gate her room doorway and let her be able to access her toys in case she’s bored. 8-9 hours of sleep overnight cannot possibly be enough for a 2-year-old.

R and I decided we would try the Ferbering before the crib transformation. And what does Bella do that night? Sleeps all the way through until 5:45am and then snuggled in bed with me for another 45 minutes after that.

But still, another day of butting heads. Bella is climbing on everything and using everything conceivable to help her. You know those boxes you put shapes in? Bella uses hers to get onto her toy chest and access the cubbies on the wall. She just LOVES climbing and my hopes for her playing in her room are beginning to be dashed, because every time she does she winds up climbing or emptying the contents of one of her dresser drawers.

Last night wasn’t fun. She was up at 1:30am and it took 40 minutes of Ferbering to get her back to sleep. She did stay down until just after 6am, but that 40 minutes overnight killed me. My neck hurts so bad I just went straight for the vicodin. Yesterday I managed things with my super cream and the heat wrap, but that’s not gonna work today.

Ugh, I need to end this post, I can hear over the monitor that Bella is up on her toy chest again….

The Saga Continues

Bella is Still the Undefeated Champ in the Sleep Wars

Thursday night Bella was up at 11:45pm and we fought with her for an hour and a half to get her to go back to sleep before giving up and bringing her to our bed. She was hyper and didn’t really calm down and fall asleep until 2am, but then slept until 7am.

Friday night is a haze, I think she was up around 1:30 and I had to bring her to bed, but she wouldn’t calm down. So 30 minutes later I put her back in her crib and she did fall back to sleep. Then around 4am she started acting up again and R brought her back to our bed and she stayed there until she got up around 7am.

Saturday was Bella’s 2nd birthday and my in-laws visited, including my niece (coming up on 7) and nephew (almost 3). They ran around like lunatics for almost the entire time (noon – 7pm). No one took naps and I figured, if Bella was going to sleep well any night, it would be last night.

Hah! 9:30. No, she didn’t sleep in until 9:30am. Oh no, my daughter was up at 9:30pm on Saturday night screaming her head off after the most hectic, tiring day she’s had in a very long time. R just grabbed her and brought her to our bed, where she slept well and we slept horribly.

She just fell asleep on R around 8:45am and I just put her back in her crib.

I think I have one option left. Bella likes to kick her covers off (at least when she’s in bed with us). If she’s doing this in her crib, the jammies she’s wearing probably aren’t warm enough for her. So I may run out and get 1 pair of fleecy, footy jammies for her to wear tonight and see if it helps.

On a happier note, although I did have neck pain yesterday, I was able to avoid taking any narcotics. I can’t say the same for the day before that.

If getting a decent night’s sleep is an integral part of recovering from a Chronic Lyme Disease flare, I am SO screwed.

Another side note: Bella does not appear to like chocolate mousse cake and is still not quite sure of how the whole “opening presents” thing works. (Her cousin was actually upset he couldn’t open any. Last year I had goodie bags for them and my brother’s son, but finances wouldn’t allow for that this year). But she got some very cute clothes and some neat toys, and I’m sure she will enjoy them all.

Day 3 of Bella’s Sleep Deprivation Experiment

Her Diabolical Plan is Working

Every night I try to be hopeful. I try to be positive. Maybe Bella will actually sleep well tonight. Maybe *I* can then sleep well. But alas, it is not to be.

4:30am Tuesday. 3:40am Wednesday. 4:15am Thursday. Up for the DAY.

I am a sleeper, I love sleep. I also need sleep, so I can fight the stupid spirochetes in my body. I need sleep, so I can reduce the stress that makes them act up even worse.

But Bella disagrees. She had to wait until my parents went away for 5 weeks. She’s really devious that way.

I’ve tried calming her. I’ve tried letting her cry. I’ve tried bringing her into my bed. I’ve tried lying on the floor in her room. I’ve tried putting her to bed a little earlier. I’ve tried putting her to bed a little later. I’m out of ideas.

I have now become zombie-mommy. I’m awake, but not really. And the pain is getting worse each night this happens.

And to top it all off, she’s emotional all day long. Lovey or demanding. Crying or giggling. Changing from moment to moment. I refuse to just give her what she wants to quiet her down.

Some day I will look back on this and laugh. But I don’t think that’s going to be for a VERY long time.

I Am Now Convinced that Bella is the One Doing the Sleep Training

It was bad enough when she got up at 4:30am yesterday, but she decided to take it up a notch and get up at 3:30am today. I went in, told her to lie down, asked if she wanted her medicine (Hyland Teething Tablets), gave them to her and went back to bed. A few minutes later she started fussing and she never stopped. Not even me lying on the floor of her room, head resting on a giant stuffed monkey, did anything to help.

I wish I knew why she forgot how to get herself back to sleep. I don’t know what to do. I even let her cry for 30 minutes at one point this morning and though it seemed that she might be calming down, she never stopped crying and started escalating again in the end. She’s standing next to me now saying her mouth hurts. I think she just likes the taste of the teething tablets.

I’m having a bad patch of neck pain, sinus pain and migraines at the moment and not getting enough sleep is definitely not helping.

And I’m cranky and short-tempered with her. And yes, she has been especially bratty lately, but I need to react better. All I normally do is take things away from her (mostly things she’s throwing).

And she won’t leave Chloe alone. I swear she WANTS to get bitten by that dog. All day it’s a battle between them to have my attention. And Bella is fascinated with Chloe and always wants to touch and pet her. Chloe is NOT interested in Bella touching her. So all day I play referee between the two.

Ugh, I can’t wait until she takes her nap so I can nap too. And maybe my back will stop killing me from lying on her floor in vain for an hour.

All By Myself

Yesterday I took my parents to the airport so they could fly out to take a 5 week cruise around the orient. I’m really glad they’re going on this trip, it should be amazing.

But I’m a little anxious too. When I’ve felt horrible or overwhelmed in the past, I could always get a Mommy break by dropping Bella off with my folks. I won’t have that option for the next 5 weeks.

In all honesty, I only REALLY have 3 days on my own since the hubby teleworks on Wednesday and is off on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. But I worry. I’ve joined a lot of Lyme groups lately and have started hearing a lot of horror stories. People having horrible flare-ups, even during treatment.

What am I going to do if I have a flare-up and the only way I can “function” is to take Vicodin every 6 hours? I don’t get loopy on Vicodin, but I do get sleepy. This means a lot of time letting Bella watch TV instead of interacting with her or taking her places. And that will suck.

So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I have a good 5 weeks. The new version of the Uber Cream that Doc T prescribed arrived and seems to help a bit more. The heat wrap is an option as well. Vicodin is my last resort.

Bella is finally no longer sick, but she’s not going to sleep or getting herself back to sleep very well, which means bad nights. If I have to, I’ll just nap every day when she does. What other choice do I have?