The Latest Round and a 2-Year Check-Up

Losing my Mind

Losing my Mind

So, the sleeping saga with Bella continues. Monday morning she was up at 4:45. I was displeased to say the least. Later that afternoon we were going for her 2-year check-up, and I had been hoping to be somewhat well-rested. Oh well.

Bella was a cranky, fussy mess all morning. All we did was butt heads about everything. She went down for her nap around 11am and was up on her own in time to leave for her 2:30 appointment.

Good news – Bella is very healthy. And big. The doctor said she is the size of a 3-year old (30 pounds 3 ounces and 36 inches tall). She was less of a disaster for the appointment (screaming wise), but was obsessed with reaching up on the desk to try to grab the doctor’s tablet.

Bad news – we were Ferbering wrong. Apparently we should have only been going in for 10-15 seconds and just reassuring her that we were there. Then she asked when Bella went to bed and when she got up. Then she said something that put fear in me “It may be that’s all the sleep she needs at night”. She said if that was the case, we should probably take the 4th side of the crib back off, gate her room doorway and let her be able to access her toys in case she’s bored. 8-9 hours of sleep overnight cannot possibly be enough for a 2-year-old.

R and I decided we would try the Ferbering before the crib transformation. And what does Bella do that night? Sleeps all the way through until 5:45am and then snuggled in bed with me for another 45 minutes after that.

But still, another day of butting heads. Bella is climbing on everything and using everything conceivable to help her. You know those boxes you put shapes in? Bella uses hers to get onto her toy chest and access the cubbies on the wall. She just LOVES climbing and my hopes for her playing in her room are beginning to be dashed, because every time she does she winds up climbing or emptying the contents of one of her dresser drawers.

Last night wasn’t fun. She was up at 1:30am and it took 40 minutes of Ferbering to get her back to sleep. She did stay down until just after 6am, but that 40 minutes overnight killed me. My neck hurts so bad I just went straight for the vicodin. Yesterday I managed things with my super cream and the heat wrap, but that’s not gonna work today.

Ugh, I need to end this post, I can hear over the monitor that Bella is up on her toy chest again….

Day 3 of Bella’s Sleep Deprivation Experiment

Her Diabolical Plan is Working

Every night I try to be hopeful. I try to be positive. Maybe Bella will actually sleep well tonight. Maybe *I* can then sleep well. But alas, it is not to be.

4:30am Tuesday. 3:40am Wednesday. 4:15am Thursday. Up for the DAY.

I am a sleeper, I love sleep. I also need sleep, so I can fight the stupid spirochetes in my body. I need sleep, so I can reduce the stress that makes them act up even worse.

But Bella disagrees. She had to wait until my parents went away for 5 weeks. She’s really devious that way.

I’ve tried calming her. I’ve tried letting her cry. I’ve tried bringing her into my bed. I’ve tried lying on the floor in her room. I’ve tried putting her to bed a little earlier. I’ve tried putting her to bed a little later. I’m out of ideas.

I have now become zombie-mommy. I’m awake, but not really. And the pain is getting worse each night this happens.

And to top it all off, she’s emotional all day long. Lovey or demanding. Crying or giggling. Changing from moment to moment. I refuse to just give her what she wants to quiet her down.

Some day I will look back on this and laugh. But I don’t think that’s going to be for a VERY long time.

I Am Now Convinced that Bella is the One Doing the Sleep Training

It was bad enough when she got up at 4:30am yesterday, but she decided to take it up a notch and get up at 3:30am today. I went in, told her to lie down, asked if she wanted her medicine (Hyland Teething Tablets), gave them to her and went back to bed. A few minutes later she started fussing and she never stopped. Not even me lying on the floor of her room, head resting on a giant stuffed monkey, did anything to help.

I wish I knew why she forgot how to get herself back to sleep. I don’t know what to do. I even let her cry for 30 minutes at one point this morning and though it seemed that she might be calming down, she never stopped crying and started escalating again in the end. She’s standing next to me now saying her mouth hurts. I think she just likes the taste of the teething tablets.

I’m having a bad patch of neck pain, sinus pain and migraines at the moment and not getting enough sleep is definitely not helping.

And I’m cranky and short-tempered with her. And yes, she has been especially bratty lately, but I need to react better. All I normally do is take things away from her (mostly things she’s throwing).

And she won’t leave Chloe alone. I swear she WANTS to get bitten by that dog. All day it’s a battle between them to have my attention. And Bella is fascinated with Chloe and always wants to touch and pet her. Chloe is NOT interested in Bella touching her. So all day I play referee between the two.

Ugh, I can’t wait until she takes her nap so I can nap too. And maybe my back will stop killing me from lying on her floor in vain for an hour.

My Life as Seen Through my Pharmacist’s Eyes

all of it

The entirety of my current medication regimen

Chronic Lyme Antibiotics

My Current Chronic Lyme Disease Antibiotic Regimen

just say no to yeast

Antibiotics = Yeast Infections. My attempts to prevent them during long-term antibiotic use.

Standard Meds

2 Antidepressants I hope to quit when I no longer have chronic pain, Singulair for allergies, Crestor for Cholesterol and birth control pills because I can barely handle Bella as it is


I still need a few more supplements because of the Lyme, but these are the basics

Pain Relief

My “Super” Cream, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Klonopin (because anxiety is fun!) and my trusty Sumatriptan

A Week's Worth

I’m Only 37-Years-Old and I Take All this Crap Every Day. WTF?

Sleep Training Fail

It’s going to be a LONG day…

Bella actually went to sleep without much of a fight at all last night. But I know my daughter, and I knew she was saving the middle-of-the-night waking for when R had to work the next day.

Around 12:30am she woke up and started crying. I let her go for 5 minutes and then went and sat with her for 5 minutes.

Then I let her cry for 10 minutes before going back in and sitting with her for 5 minutes.

After I left her room, I had to take a sumatriptan because I had woken up with a migraine. Meanwhile, Bella cried for 15 minutes and then I went in to sit with her for 5 minutes.

But I didn’t.

I fell asleep and woke up at 3am instead. Crap. Time to go back to my own bed.

When R started getting ready for work, I suggested he close her door to keep from disturbing her. He closed her door as quietly as a church mouse and then went into the bathroom. Bella must have been awake already because she immediately started crying.

I grabbed her and brought her back to bed with me, but she wouldn’t fall back to sleep there (the dogs in my room are too distracting). Then I tried bringing her back to her room and sitting with her, but she still wouldn’t go back to sleep.

So to recap:

  • Bella was up overnight
  • I had a migraine while sleep training
  • I spent too much time in the recliner, which is what I’ve been trying to avoid
  • Bella got up at 5:20am and would NOT go back to sleep
  • And of course, my neck is KILLING me

Oh well, there’s always tomorrow night.