I Am Now Convinced that Bella is the One Doing the Sleep Training

It was bad enough when she got up at 4:30am yesterday, but she decided to take it up a notch and get up at 3:30am today. I went in, told her to lie down, asked if she wanted her medicine (Hyland Teething Tablets), gave them to her and went back to bed. A few minutes later she started fussing and she never stopped. Not even me lying on the floor of her room, head resting on a giant stuffed monkey, did anything to help.

I wish I knew why she forgot how to get herself back to sleep. I don’t know what to do. I even let her cry for 30 minutes at one point this morning and though it seemed that she might be calming down, she never stopped crying and started escalating again in the end. She’s standing next to me now saying her mouth hurts. I think she just likes the taste of the teething tablets.

I’m having a bad patch of neck pain, sinus pain and migraines at the moment and not getting enough sleep is definitely not helping.

And I’m cranky and short-tempered with her. And yes, she has been especially bratty lately, but I need to react better. All I normally do is take things away from her (mostly things she’s throwing).

And she won’t leave Chloe alone. I swear she WANTS to get bitten by that dog. All day it’s a battle between them to have my attention. And Bella is fascinated with Chloe and always wants to touch and pet her. Chloe is NOT interested in Bella touching her. So all day I play referee between the two.

Ugh, I can’t wait until she takes her nap so I can nap too. And maybe my back will stop killing me from lying on her floor in vain for an hour.

My Life as Seen Through my Pharmacist’s Eyes

all of it

The entirety of my current medication regimen

Chronic Lyme Antibiotics

My Current Chronic Lyme Disease Antibiotic Regimen

just say no to yeast

Antibiotics = Yeast Infections. My attempts to prevent them during long-term antibiotic use.

Standard Meds

2 Antidepressants I hope to quit when I no longer have chronic pain, Singulair for allergies, Crestor for Cholesterol and birth control pills because I can barely handle Bella as it is


I still need a few more supplements because of the Lyme, but these are the basics

Pain Relief

My “Super” Cream, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Klonopin (because anxiety is fun!) and my trusty Sumatriptan

A Week's Worth

I’m Only 37-Years-Old and I Take All this Crap Every Day. WTF?

Sleep Training Fail

It’s going to be a LONG day…

Bella actually went to sleep without much of a fight at all last night. But I know my daughter, and I knew she was saving the middle-of-the-night waking for when R had to work the next day.

Around 12:30am she woke up and started crying. I let her go for 5 minutes and then went and sat with her for 5 minutes.

Then I let her cry for 10 minutes before going back in and sitting with her for 5 minutes.

After I left her room, I had to take a sumatriptan because I had woken up with a migraine. Meanwhile, Bella cried for 15 minutes and then I went in to sit with her for 5 minutes.

But I didn’t.

I fell asleep and woke up at 3am instead. Crap. Time to go back to my own bed.

When R started getting ready for work, I suggested he close her door to keep from disturbing her. He closed her door as quietly as a church mouse and then went into the bathroom. Bella must have been awake already because she immediately started crying.

I grabbed her and brought her back to bed with me, but she wouldn’t fall back to sleep there (the dogs in my room are too distracting). Then I tried bringing her back to her room and sitting with her, but she still wouldn’t go back to sleep.

So to recap:

  • Bella was up overnight
  • I had a migraine while sleep training
  • I spent too much time in the recliner, which is what I’ve been trying to avoid
  • Bella got up at 5:20am and would NOT go back to sleep
  • And of course, my neck is KILLING me

Oh well, there’s always tomorrow night.

Sleep Training, It’s My Favorite Thing!

Relieved parents

Last night was the first night trying to retrain Bella to go to sleep, in her room, when it was time for bed. A simple request for a nearly 2-year-old, but one she had begun to have extreme difficulty with.

We reverted back to our previous sleep training with our “modified” Ferber. She had fallen asleep on R and I picked her up and put her in her crib. She immediately started screaming.

We let this go for 5 minutes. Then I got her to lay back down and sat with her for 5 minutes.

I leave and we listen to 10 minutes of screaming before I return to yet again help her lie back down and then sit there for 5 minutes.

I leave again and we get to listen to her scream for 15 minutes, then I head back in and get her to lie down and sit with her for 5 minutes. (Side Note: sometime during this process she turned on the light in her closet which she can reach the switch for from her crib).

Finally, during the 20 minute crying session, she must have passed out from exhaustion.

This ordeal started at 8:20pm and ended around 9:35pm. It sucked.

All night I lay in bed waiting for her to wake up, knowing it would be harder to do the sleep training when I was sleepy. This means I didn’t sleep well, waking frequently until at 4am I really woke up with a nasty migraine. I took some sumatriptan, sat back in bed and prepared myself to tell R he had to handle her if she got up until I felt better.

But the time kept passing. And finally around 6:40am I heard a small voice, calming calling out “Mommy”. Holy crap, she slept through the night!

Then today, she ASKED to go down for her nap for the 2nd day in a row (she was getting cranky), and again slept almost 3 hours.

After bath time tonight we tried to put her to bed, but she started flipping out and saying something we couldn’t understand. Eventually she said yes when I asked if she wanted her medicine (Hyland’s Teething Tablets). After she had a few of those in the kitchen, I asked her if she wanted to go to bed and she said “No”. So I asked her if she wanted to snuggle on R and she said “Yes”. He got himself settled and she went back to her room to get her Pooh Bear and a blanket (she already had her binkie).

We let her rest on R while we watched several atrocious innings of the Phillies game and then I picked her up and said it was time for bed.

She was fine walking to her room.

She was fine when we got in there.

She was fine when I laid her in the crib.

She was fine as I talked to her for 30 seconds about me leaving the closet light on for her and Daddy and I being right down the hall.

Then she sat up, stood up, grabbed my arm and started screaming. Crap.

I “helped” her lay back down, threw her blanket over her legs and ran out of the room. Once I got out to the living room, I started the stop watch on my computer, ready for a repeat performance. But before we even hit 5 minutes, she was quiet already. Phew. I don’t know what things will be like overnight, if I’ll be as lucky as last night, but at least we’re on the right track.

A Busy Day and a Frustrating Night (UPDATED)

I was out of the house most of the day yesterday. My Mom and I drove back to where we used to live on the Jersey Shore so I could have an appointment to discuss things with Doc T and my Mom could see her eye doctor about her new glasses. After these appointments, we unfortunately had to go to the hospital to visit a family member who had suffered a stroke on Tuesday. After that we stopped by to visit Stace and her hubby for a little while before heading home.

R decided in the morning that he was going to stay home yesterday and watch Bella. My Dad was going to do it for us, but R decided he wanted to spend the day with her. They apparently had a lot of fun.

Mom and I left a little early and drove up to see if we could maybe find somewhere to eat along the ocean, but didn’t have any luck. But we drove around Ocean Grove and Asbury Park and even stopped so Mom could get out and walk to the beach and at least touch the sand with her hand for the first and probably last time this year. We never took advantage of the beach often enough when we lived closer and now we’re an hour away. Oh well.

We decided to just go to a diner closer to our appointments that my folks frequently go to when they’re in the area. It was a leisurely, relaxing and yummy lunch. Then we walked around a store called Harmon for a little while and I brought Mom to her appointment and dropped her off.

I still had 30 minutes until my appointment with Doc T, so I decided to drive by the old house where I grew up. It was a little sad. The new owner definitely does not maintain the property to the standards my Dad did, there were even garbage bags of who-knows-what on the front porch. The lawn needed a mowing and the whole thing just looked a little sad. All the time my folks put into that house over 30 years is being squandered. 😦

I decided to do something happy after that and stopped by a local florist to pick up a rose for Doc T since it also happened to be her birthday. Then I drove off to my appointment and waited to see the birthday girl.

It’s nice to start off your doctor’s appointments with a hug. We had never really had an in-depth conversation about the Chronic Lyme after the 2nd round of blood work confirmed it. I had a list of questions which she patiently went through with me.

She asked about the super cream and I will apparently be getting another batch which is stronger and rubs in better (I’m a guinea pig for this stuff apparently).

We talked about the intense neck pain that she had hoped would have subsided by now, but she admitted it might take until the end of 6 months of antibiotics until the pain is manageable.

She was very happy that besides the previous 2 days (which I think were hormonally related), I hadn’t really had any migraines since starting the antibiotics. The Tuesday migraine was easily treated with sumatriptan. The Wednesday migraine took 2 sumatriptan, 2 hydrocodone and an oxycodone and lasted 12 hours.

Doc T had been slightly concerned about my narcotic usage. She knew I had been using a lot when I first started the antibiotics and had a horrible flare-up (which she was fine with and was to be expected), but she thought I might still be taking a lot of meds and was very relieved to hear I usually took 1 a day around bedtime and relied on the super cream and my heat wrap the rest of the time.

We talked about the next plan of action which is more blood tests at the 6 week mark. Depending on how the results come out, I will either keep going with what I’m currently taking, or we may have to add some additional antibiotics to the mix.

Doc T wrote up a list of supplements she wants me to start taking and let me know a few I could stop because they no longer served their purpose (my cholesterol requires medication to control at this point, so no more red yeast rice). FYI – activated charcoal and essential glutathione with alka seltzer gold during flares and ALA liver and milk thistle for detoxing.

She also asked me to do some homework on Byron White Protocol and Cat’s Claw. Homework. <sigh> Actually, she’s really excited that she’s going to the ILADS conference in Boston this fall and hoping to learn a lot herself.

We’re keeping me on my depression meds since I’m still in chronic pain and I won’t be “stepping down” the wellbutrin any more than I have already (to 300mg/day).

I’ll go back to see her in the beginning of October and get my blood drawn to see how those little spirochetes are doing.

While I was there, she came up with the idea to see if their massage therapist was around and available and she was. She offered me an hour session, but I really wanted to get Mom and get to the hospital so I settled for a 15 minute “quickie”. I haven’t had a professional touch my shoulders or neck in such a long time… ahhhhhhhh.

Doc T and I said our goodbyes (about 90 minutes after my appointment has started) and I went to go pick up Mom. Then we drove down to Jersey Shore Medical Center.

I’ve never seen someone who has just suffered a stroke before. All I’ve seen are people who had them years ago and compensate as much as they can and live their life. But this wasn’t good. And the worst part is, she knew it. She has all her mental faculties, but half her body is paralyzed. This is a woman who would be considered old by most people’s standards, but who is exceptionally active and was in fantastic shape. I will admit that I never felt as close to this relative as my Mom probably would have liked (through no fault of her own, mostly just the age difference). But seeing her laying there, fully aware of what was going on and what the prognosis would most likely be…. it broke my heart. I felt more love and empathy for her during that short visit than I had in my entire life.

On our way out we ran into her daughter and husband. Again, I have had some problems connecting with this man at previous times in my life, but I could see how difficult it was for him to see the woman he loved and has been married to for over 55 years in the condition she was in. For the first time in my life I gave him more than the perfunctory hugs you give after a holiday gathering.

My Mom and I had hoped to have lunch with Stace earlier, but we didn’t make it to the area in time. I had sent a text asking if we could stop by after the hospital since it was less than 5 minutes from her house. And we planned to go and have a quick visit before heading home.

By the time we got there, Stace and her hubby had just ordered some pizza and my Mom and I each had a slice while we played catch up and tried to talk about things other than the visit we just had. Stace is a wonderful distraction and my Mom truly loves her like a daughter.

Will you PLEASE just go to sleep? I’m begging you!

While we were there, I had been texting R and apparently he was having a rough time getting Bella to bed. It started with screaming in the crib and then wound up with him having to put her in his lap while he watched the Phillies game. Sometimes that’s the only way we can get her into bed, to fall hard asleep on R and then move her.

Mom and I headed home and I dropped her at her place. Before I left, I texted R to let him know I was on my way so he could put Bella in bed and/or throw the dogs outside for when I got home. He texted back that BELLA WAS STILL AWAKE. This was almost 10pm!!

As soon as I got home, I did what I needed to and went right to bed. I hoped that if Bella saw me go to bed, maybe she’d consider it herself (haha). I woke around midnight and R was in bed, so at some point he got Bella into her crib. Then at some point in the early morning, she began crying. R went to check on her and came back to bed with Bella in tow. I decided I was going to sleep in the guest room.

Bella needs to sleep in her own room, in her crib. That means that no matter how many times she gets out, we need to put her right back in. It’s a crappy few nights, but the alternative isn’t working. We have 3 nights a week we can do this when R doesn’t have to work the next day. He just blew one of them last night. I know he loves his daughter and hates to hear her scream and likes to quiet her down as soon as possible, but he’s doing more damage than good at this point. And I’m the one who usually winds up paying for it.

Bella was wide awake just after 5am and by 6am I got up and got her milk and some coffee for me. Of course my neck started hurting right away so I have some of the super cream on. I’m hoping for a better day today. Mom is having a procedure she hopes will help with some intense pain problems she’s been having, so we probably won’t see her or my Dad today.


UPDATE: R read my post and corrected me about his attempts to get Bella into bed. Apparently there were 3-4 main attempts made after her bath with 10 minutes of crying each followed by 5 minutes of him trying to calm her in the crib. Also, he tried to transfer her to the crib from being asleep in his lap 3 different times, all of which failed. But tonight we need to be Bad Cop – Bad Cop if we’re ever going to get decent sleep again.