No More Avoiding the Inevitable

I never even saw the bastard or had the bulls-eye rash back in 1988

As much as I didn’t want it to be true, in the end the tests just don’t lie. I have Chronic Lyme Disease from the infection I was diagnosed with in March of 1989.

Doc T was right. This is why migraine preventatives don’t work. This is why depression meds aren’t working. This is the cause of everything.

Looking back now, I realize that when I thought I felt better from depression and headaches in November and December of last year, it wasn’t the Lyrica or Wellbutrin. It was the 6 weeks of antibiotics I was taking for what we thought at the time was a new infection of Lyme (but actually a flare-up).

I have a lot of mixed emotions, to say the least.

I’m happy that we can begin to treat it and it is an inexpensive course of action (2 antibiotics and something to keep me from becoming a bakery). If it goes the way it did last time, by the time Bella’s birthday rolls around at the end of next month, I might actually be feeling like the old me again. But I could be on antibiotics 6-months this first time.

I’m sad about all the time wasted over the decades when I wasn’t being treated for what the root problem to everything was.

I’m sad that I wasn’t willing to put more faith in Doc T because I didn’t want the diagnosis to be true.

I’m upset that this is “chronic”. I will have to deal with this the rest of my life. I will have flare-ups here and there and need courses of antibiotics to treat them.

I am frustrated because there is barely any literature of scientific research on Chronic Lyme. In some circles they doubt its very existence, let alone treatment with long-term antibiotics.

I guess I’m just a bit overwhelmed with emotions. I really don’t know what else to say.

If you want to learn more, you can visit: http://www.lymeinfo.net/chroniclymedisease.html

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About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

2 Responses to No More Avoiding the Inevitable

  1. Sandy says:

    I have a friend with chronic lymes. Email me and I can put you in touch with her. She has a ton of information.

  2. Bill says:

    I find myself in your mindset on reading this. I’m so sorry for the news, but at the same time I find it’s always better to at least know what you’re fighting so that you can do what’s possible. Hang in there.

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