Regaining Power

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nothing external to you has any power over you.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
In my continuing quest to finally get my shit together, one of the things I have been working on is not letting people make me upset who don’t deserve that kind of power over me. I have found this a very difficult aspect of myself to change. When I feel I have been wronged (or my husband or daughter have), my first response is always anger and then resentment.
There has been an issue with some family members I have written about in password-protected posts, and it reared its head again last night. I try to stay calm when I find out about these issues, because getting upset only gives me a migraine.
But it’s just so hard. I think the worst part is that I am holding my tongue when I would like nothing more than to spew off an enormous diatribe to these idiots.
This is all compounded by knowing that nothing is going to change with this issue. So I am simultaneously trying to accept that a situation I despise is the reality and being upset with those involved is wasted energy. Through R I have said my peace and it has fallen on deaf ears or been misinterpreted (which makes me even more upset).
But I don’t want to live this way. I want to concentrate on the amazing blessings I do have in my life and come to peace with the rest and let it go. It is hard. S has been a great inspiration in this area, but I still struggle myself.
For the time being, when I start to get upset about this issue, I am trying to redirect my energy to being thankful for having such an amazing daughter, husband, parents and friends. Anyone who is missing out on this wondrous time in my daughter’s life, it’s their loss.
I will release this anger and replace it with positive energy.
I will rise above.
I will accept and move on.
I will be happy.
I will live.

About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

3 Responses to Regaining Power

  1. icanhasdiary says:

    Yeah!!! KICK ASS and don’t let the little, petty people ruin your day. You’re right– you’ll only give them power if you let them bother you to the point of anger, resentment and stress.

    I recall a very helpful thing from therapy years ago: Don’t say things like “You make me so angry.” Because then you are saying, in essence, that you’re letting them influence you to the point of anger. Instead say, “I feel upset when you do that.” It states the real issue– you FEEL upset– without it being about an outside force making you into something. We make a decision to let people bother us, or not.

    Keep saying those awesome positive mantras! Those are excellent. 🙂

  2. icanhasdiary says:

    PS: When I say that, I don’t mean that YOU are always saying “Ugh, these people make me feel upset” or anything. I just wanted to share a concept that I try to keep in mind, myself, when I am stressed or upset. I’m not always good at it, I’ll admit. But hell, I do keep on trying to be better everyday, so that counts for somethin’!

    Also, you know what’s so simple and fun? Just turning on an old song you love — a happy one or a rage-y one, whatever makes you feel more alive — and jump up and down in place a few times to get your heart pumping. (I’m so out of shape that just a few jumps does the trick for me, LOL) It makes me feel stronger when I do that. Happier, more alive, more aware of the moment. If that makes sense!

  3. I’m at the point of not even thinking about them at all, they don’t even enter my mind. Unfortunately, that’s not as simple for R. I honestly don’t know what’s going to come out of the latest situation. Nothing good. But it’s R’s choice how things proceed. It’s heartbreaking though.

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