Battling Exercise OCD

I definitely wouldn’t say I have standard OCD, one look in my pocketbook could confirm that. But I do have this thing with consistency and numbers.

The consistency thing is my own evil creation. I somehow feel that if I’m exercising and I don’t exercise – EVERY. SINGLE DAY. – there’s no point to even bothering at all.

This was my mindset when I turned 29 and wanted to lose 50 pounds before I turned 30 (which I did). I walked every night for months until I started jogging part of my route and eventually running the entire 5 miles. Of course, this was when I was living in California and didn’t have to deal with such drastic temperature changes and crappy weather (this winter notwithstanding). I was also married to someone I had fallen out of love with and didn’t have any children.

Exercising now while Bella naps is great, but there are other things I need to get done and if I lose an hour a day to exercising, will I get as much accomplished as I’d like or need? But then the other side of me says that getting healthier is the most important thing of all and the things that have been waiting can continue to wait or get done at a slower pace.

I blame my Mom for the number thing (no offense at all Mom). She has this thing about birthdays that end in zeros and fives and I have it to. But it also extends to TV volumes and numbers of items in collections and so forth.

It’s really bad when it comes to exercising. I have to stop on a zero or five NO MATTER WHAT. To combat this, I have taken to putting a towel over the treadmill digital panel. This way I can do just what feels natural to my body for the most part.

I always put the treadmill at a 2% incline, but the speed I was walking just matched the music I was listening to… normal for rock, faster paced for electronic/industrial stuff.

I peeked at my top speed before I started slowing down and I got to 3.3 miles an hour (had I been looking, I may have pushed myself to get to 3.5 miles/hour and hurt myself). I let my OCD take over at the end when I started getting tired and I lifted the towel to see where I was. I was around 1.75 miles, so I kept going until I hit 2 miles (roughly 40 minutes) and then started my cool down.

One weird thing while I was walking: at one point near the end, Nemo came up to me and nosed my thigh. This was very unusual. I stopped the treadmill and he went upstairs and I followed, but he went down to the guest room and sat down. I went to the back door and called him, but he didn’t come. I went back downstairs and finished my walk and then threw the laundry in the dryer and came up to type this. I don’t know, maybe he was letting me know the laundry was done. Or maybe just trying to say “You know Mom, you could do this outside… with me on a leash… enjoying the fresh air.” Sorry buddy, but there’s a sleeping baby upstairs.

P.S. I did take the dogs out before I came to write this and Nemo did pee, but that dog can hold his bladder for 16 FUCKING HOURS (his choice, trust me… he just gets mopey on Mondays when R goes back to work. I usually have to drag him outside mid-morning).

P.P.S. I am doing the beads in 2 glass jars thing. I have 55 FUCKING BEADS. I don’t think they’re all going to find their way to the other jar, but if the majority of them did, that would be really cool.


About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

One Response to Battling Exercise OCD

  1. icanhasdiary says:

    I kind of have the same thing with exercising: I feel like if I can’t commit to doing it at least 3x a week it’s not worth it. And up until this summer, when I messed up my back really bad with the running, I also thought if I am not pushing myself to the gasping-for-air threshold, it wasn’t worth doing. Yeah, well… I’m still learning.

    I commend you for working out and identifying the things that get in your way, both real and psychological. It’s not easy.

    And yay for the glass jars/beads method! I love it. Although I haven’t moved any new marbles in for over a week now. I’ve been maintaining but not losing. If I start working out I know I’ll see some movement on the scale #s but I just haven’t wanted to do anything! UGH! I hate this. Why’s it got to be so hard to fit exercise into the day?!

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