Spilling My Guts

So, in case you haven’t noticed I’ve been a little slacking with my posts lately. There’s a good reason for that. I’ve had a few important things on my mind that I’m not ready to share with everyone. But I decided that I do need to write about this stuff and that in all honesty, the only person that I know reads this blog for sure is L. Anyone else who is a friend and reads the following, please keep it quiet until I say so.

After a year of trying, I’m finally pregnant.

AND

After over 2.5 years out of work, R  has a new job starting February 16th.

Phew.

I have my first appointment with the OB/GYN on Monday and I don’t want to tell people about the pregnancy until the first round of tests come back. I will be telling my folks tomorrow and my mother-in-law when I see her Tuesday. Actually, I don’t plan on making a public broadcast of the news until March when I’m past the first trimester and I know everything is OK. I’m only 5 weeks pregnant right now and due to deliver on September 13th by my calculations. I was able to tell T today which was a load off my mind… I knew she’d be happy for me but I didn’t want to bum her out since she’s been having fertility problems. She was wonderful about the news and I’m so glad she knows (because she’s a wonderful friend and I love her and also because she’s my doctor).

I have mixed emotions. I’m somewhat shocked, somewhat incredulous, slightly worried because I’m a pessimist but in the end, relieved and happy. R and I have wanted this for so long, it doesn’t seem real. I think it’ll feel real after the doctor’s appointment Monday.

And can I just say “PHEW!!!”. In 3 weeks I will no longer be the sole income for the family and that will provide some much needed stress relief. R’s job won’t pay very well in the beginning, but it’s with the Department of Defense and one of the reason’s my Mom left the DoD a couple years ago was because they were promoting people too quickly, maybe now it’ll work in our favor.

The week has been a blur for the most part. I took the pregnancy test Sunday night on a whim after that somewhat iffy test last Wednesday and lo and behold, there were 2 lines on the thing. It’s weird when you want something really bad and you have to wait for it and then it finally becomes real. I’m nervous and anxious, but I’m sure after I get the test results from the stuff they do Monday, I’ll feel better. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, but trying to force myself to enjoy this time and this experience and not dwell on the possibilities, only the actualities.

So, I’ll be blogging more consistently now that I feel free to talk about all that’s on my mind. I’m sure it’ll be a lot of pregnancy related stuff. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me.

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About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

One Response to Spilling My Guts

  1. icanhasdiary says:

    Wow, I am SO happy for you!!! Congratulations, and I will definitely keep my fingers tightly crossed that everything goes well.
    And it’s so great R found a job. I can’t wait to see if your migraines ease up once these two stresses (him not having a job, trying to get pregnant) are taken away. Sure, you’ll have new stressors, but those really won’t be as bad as the negative ones you’ve been dealing with for so long.
    This is such great news, and I’m so glad I got to read about it! Even if I’m the only one. Heh. 😉 I’m cool like dat.

    Have a fantastic weekend!!

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