Won’t this week ever end?

This is the week that just won’t die. I think having the 2 hour and 45 minutes corporate kick-off meeting plus the training for my division has just been exhausting for some reason. Plus, I am so anxious.

Why am I anxious? Because my damn period hasn’t shown up yet. I looked into false negative pregnancy tests and realized I did a horrible job on the first test, so I tested again properly on Wednesday after the meeting. There was a “faint” line on the left side, but only because I wanted there to be. If I didn’t want to be pregnant, I probably would have dismissed it. So, now it’s 39 days since my last period when 37 days was my longest stretch before and it was only 28 days last month.

I just want to be pregnant so badly. But I’ve been really stressed about work and worked up because so many people I care for are pregnant right now and I’m incredibly jealous. Ugh, I don’t know. Every time I go to the bathroom I expect there to be blood and every time there isn’t, it gives me a little more hope.

I really wish I could distract myself. But I feel like the universe intervened because when I had my yearly in May I made an appointment with my GYN for 1 year after my mirena was removed and that appointment was supposed to be Wednesday. Now a week or so ago, the doctor’s office called to say my doctor couldn’t do that appointment anymore and that I needed to reschedule. This appointment was supposed to be the “OK, you’ve tried to get pregnant for a year and haven’t yet, I am now willing to do some tests to make sure there’s no problems” appointment. Why can’t I just not obsess about this? Maybe it’s because I went to see Regan on Tuesday and it brought all my maternal instincts to the forefront. I don’t know. I’m rambling.

So, I haven’t written lately because it’s all I can think about. But I needed to update this blog if for no other reason than to track my headaches. I did have a migraine on Monday that I treated with imitrex. Had a little headache Tuesday but didn’t take anything strong. Got a nasty migraine by the end of the corporate meeting Wednesday and took some axert. Yesterday was fine for the most part and I feel ok today. I’m supposed to go back to the Jefferson Headache Center in about 10 days, but I might blow that appointment off since the only thing that’s “treating” my migraines right now is the antidepressants that T had prescribed.

There’s something else going on that it’s too soon to speak about.

So, my folks close on their house next Friday. They asked to stay at our place that night. It’ll be nice having them closer.

I think that’s about all I feel like posting right now. I need to work on the website so I can get the damn project done, though I am feeling a bit scatterbrained lately.


About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

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