If Only


It’s ridiculous how badly I need a massage right now. Up until 2 years ago, I got a massage every other week for over 10 years and I miss it SO much. It’s my own fault. I manifest all my stress in my neck. Work got you down? Muscle bundles in the neck. Family getting on your nerves? Muscle bundles in the neck. Worried you won’t be able to get pregnant? Muscle bundles in the neck. Had a poor night’s sleep? Muscle bundles in the neck. And what do these lovely bundles of muscles, tied in knots in my neck lead to…. yup, migraines. They pinch this nerve in my neck and the migraines become unavoidable. The burning sensation and dull ache are just a precursor to the stinging pain sure to come later. I swear it’s worse during the work week. I’ve rearranged my desk and elevated my monitor and such, but nothing seems to help. One of R’s cousins actually had the “bad” nerve removed from her neck to give her migraine relief. But the body is a wondrous thing and as expected, eventually the pain found another nerve to use as a pathway.

There are other remedies I’ve been procrastinating on. I’ve heard meditation and yoga can help. I find it daunting to try to silence the chatter in my head to be able to meditate, but I know I should give it a try. Yoga and stretching just require me finding some recommended positions and moves that don’t involve watching some video tape with some Yanni-style new age guru leading the thing.

There is also the punching bag. It was the best present my ex-husband (EX) ever got me. I took a cardio kick boxing class right before my first wedding and EX noticed that I was always in a really good mood when I came home and determined that I really enjoy hitting inanimate objects… and by golly he was right. Somewhere along the way, I lost the gloves I had been using when I hit my punching bag. I need to get some new ones. I actually don’t use boxing gloves because I hate how hot they make my hands. I like the weight lifting gloves with the finger cut off. I just need something that covers my knuckles so they don’t bleed or anything. Listening to Suicidal Tendencies, Ministry and Tool while hitting something seems to be very good for my mental and physical health. Just need to put some water back in the bag base and give it a whirl.

Not sure what this week is going to be like at work. There’s a lot of stuff to get done, but the end is in site for the website, whether I’m ready or not. It’ll be nice to move on to some of the other projects I’ve been wanting to get to. We’ll see how it all pans out.

It is a fairly commitment-free week for me personally. May go to dinner Wednesday night, but other than that there’s nothing going on. In-Laws might be down on Thursday, but I’ll be at work when they’re here so I won’t see them in all likelihood. Might be on my own Thursday night if R helps our friend close up his house up in the Poconos on Friday, we shall see.

2 hours left in the work day and then I get to go home and try to relax. Here’s hoping the neck pain doesn’t turn into a full blown migraine before then.


About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

One Response to If Only

  1. icanhasdiary says:

    OK…how did it go? I hope you didn’t end up with that migraine you were anticipating!

    I’m glad you said that thing about yoga and stretching, because I feel the same way. I’m not confident or rich enough yet to be able to go to classes, so that’s out of the question. And those New Agey videos just annoy the everloving crap out of me! I can’t watch them or even listen to them.

    A punching bag, huh? Well, that sounds like your own form of yoga actually. It quiets your mind, right? I think you should get back to hitting and kicking the crap out of that bag and report back how you feel.

    Good luck with work. Maybe you should print out the latest page from the site and tape it to the punching bag!! 🙂 It could help…!

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