Paranoid Android

I’m not feeling especially well today. It was tough to get out of bed because it was raining and still dark outside until after 7am. I really need this weekend to hurry up and get here so daylight savings time can start. I keep getting lazier and lazier and I think the morning time darkness is a big culprit. I haven’t been on the treadmill since we got Chloe almost 4 weeks ago and I REALLY need to get back on there because I feel as large as a cow right now. I’m really not happy with the way I look and wishing away the excess weight isn’t going to work. Plus, on top of that, I have a lovely acne outbreak going on to make me feel extra special. I guess I’ll just be one of those people that has acne their entire life, since mine has never gone away no matter what beauty regimen I use or don’t use.

I’ve been very anxious all afternoon at work. It’s probably because another day is coming to a close and I haven’t done a damn thing I should have. All this writing I need to do and I just can’t seem to get started. I can’t get motivated for some reason. I get distracted so easily. And now I have this terrible anxiety level building in me because I NEED to get some writing done before tomorrow ends. I really hate the anxious feeling, it’s not fun in the least. I could probably rectify it by doing some work, but that would make sense and therefore, I can’t possibly go that route.

R has an interview tomorrow with a staffing place. I find it hard to get excited about that kind of stuff, I’ve become numb due to the length of his unemployment. I’ll just assume it won’t work out for some reason, because it never does. Well aren’t I a ray of effing sunshine? <sigh>

Nemo decided to pee on the kitchen carpet again today. I swear I’d throw that thing out if R wouldn’t just buy another one. He’d just been out to pee shortly before too. He’s such a brat. The collar to help us stop Chloe barking arrived today, we’ll see how it goes. It emits a high pitched sound when you use a remote control, we’re gonna try to stop the barking and overly aggressive behavior towards Nemo she sometimes displays. All things considered, she’s the better behaved of the two dogs. I love Nemo to bits, but I am so sick of him peeing in the house, I don’t understand why he insists on doing it. He must have been allowed to pee indoors in his last home, that can be the only excuse for why he’s still being bad.

Tonight should be a low-key relaxing evening at home thankfully. No football, no baseball, just the DVR with some TV shows as well as the Monty Python special from IFC. One more hour to go before I get to leave, it’ll drag beyond belief I’m sure. Wow, I am quite the whiner…


About snarkysillysad
A former marketing professional with 15 years of experience in the technology industry. Through her blog she has shared her journey through pregnancy and motherhood as well as her struggle with migraines, depression, and chronic pain

2 Responses to Paranoid Android

  1. icanhasdiary says:

    I’m sorry to hear you’re going through the same kind of thing I’ve had… not being able to focus and write/ do your work when you absolutely NEED to do it! God, it’s the worst feeling ever. I totally sympathize with you on this one. It’s hard to get people to understand that it’s NOT that you’re lazy or something; it’s a matter of your brain not firing the correct way to enable you to get things done. I wanted to write, so much. I’d sit there with the screen open all day, and do it again when I got home from work. I even pulled an all-nighter that one time to try to get an article done. It didn’t work. SO FRUSTRATING! It’s like the harder you try, the worse it seems to get. Damned if you do…damned if you don’t. I hate it.

    Well, at least we can commiserate on this one. And I can say that my own issues have gotten a little better this week, so there is hope. It’ll pass for you soon and be just a crappy memory. I’m rooting for you!

    Oh, Nemo, you bad, bad boy! It really sounds like a territorial thing to me. And yes, that maybe in his last home they didn’t do a good job of teaching him and bad habits stick. (SIGH) Has he been peeing more since Chloe arrived, have you noticed? With the cats being there, he probably wanted to claim the house for his own so that would be why he’d do that. At the dog park, does he ever run over and pee over a spot another dog just peed on? Hurley does that and it drives me nuts! I think if I had another dog in the house and it peed somewhere, he’d have to run over and pee on it, too.

    Have you tried any of those neutralizers that removes the scent completely from the area? They can work pretty well so he won’t keep thinking that one spot is appropriate for peeing on again and again.

    Oh, another thing– what’s usually happening right before he pees? Anything that you could see as a pattern? Dogs are so strange with their idiosyncracies. Maybe he hears a loud noise on TV that he associates with “time to pee” or the cats have just been fed, or you and R had been hugging one another… just see if there is anything at all, even a small thing, that seems to be there every time. My old dog would avert his eyes and lower his tail every time we slammed the screen door. Every time. It became kind of a joke, although the poor dude was traumatized from the time a door hit him… we shouldn’t have laughed at his reaction years later, but we did.) 🙂

    Good luck. I’m hoping for the best for you!

    • Well, the pressure finally got to me and I got SOME writing done. I have 2 more hours left in the day (my least productive ones), but I can probably get a little more done. I hope it’s enough to not make my boss wonder what the hell I’ve been doing. He has no idea how fast I can write, I think that if I show him what I wrote in a couple hours today that he might think it took all week (I hope). As much as I love music, I found it necessary to turn off my radio so I could concentrate. I feel like I have one of those perpetual motion machines inside my head, except those are organized and serve a function, I just feel like there’s always too much going on in my brain.

      Nemo is a pain in the butt. For the most part I’ve figured out when he’s going to be bad upstairs in the kitchen (it’s because the gate to downstairs is closed, which irritates him and then we’re usually inaccessible (in bathroom or outside), though he has peed on the kitchen carpet while I was removing food from the oven 2 feet from him. I don’t think he’s marking his territory. He isn’t any worse than he was before we got Chloe. I thought he was acting out because he was bored, that’s why I got Chloe, but as I’ve said, she’s house trained now, whereas he’s not. And as I said in the one example on the blag, he was outside, he peed, he was allowed inside, not confined to any area, full access to me and he peed downstairs anyway… I’m pretty smart and observant about these things, but he’s a mystery… an awfully annoying mystery. I definitely think the carpets need to go because I can’t remember the last time he peed on bare floor.

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